• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    13 days ago

    The problem with saying “Asians are fetishized” is that EVERY race is fetishized. Every body feature is fetishized. Small tits? Fetishized. Big tits? Fetishized. Black? Fetishized. White? Fetishized. Asian? Fetishized. Wear glasses? Fetishized.

    No matter who you are, there’s SOMEOME fetishizing you.

  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    Where’s the line, like initial attraction is kind of - by definition always limited in it’s understanding of “the other”… Whether that’s a woman finding a fatherly figure attractive, or a gay guy finding a bear attractive, or someone finding an Irish accent hot…

    They’re all empty slates we project onto, it’s only later that we learn about the human beyond those characteristics. Then we find out they’re kind of a horrible person, and that’s the end of that.

    • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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      12 days ago

      The more your relationships are about appearance, the less you can know about yourself and them since you are certain to not chase a partner to be a trophy among other effects

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        12 days ago

        It’s not about being a “trophy”. I just want to be with someone that I’m physically attracted to, and who is physically attracted to me. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Obviously we need to have compatible personalities/interests beyond that but it is a big factor.

          • Soulg@ani.social
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            11 days ago

            You don’t choose that. It’s different for everybody.

            That’s like saying people choose whether or not to be gay or bi versus being straight.

            • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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              10 days ago

              If you aren’t attractive or attracted to someone the couple will not be happy. That’s what you’re deciding for others. Condemning some to be alone forever.

              If you don’t want to, you don’t need to focus on that. You can also adjust how much. Personally I get energy from being attracted and attractive, but I don’t control what others choose.

              • Soulg@ani.social
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                10 days ago

                I don’t even know what point you’re trying to make. Not everybody is going to be attractive to every other person.

                My gf and I are both attracted to each other, but there’s many people (millions, even) who would find neither of us attractive. Those people aren’t obligated to potentially date us just because it might make us sad that they’re not attracted to us.

                • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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                  10 days ago

                  In these days it’s often hard for Americans to understand. Forcing, or saying others cannot or should not do x, is completely unnecessary when it’s something they do in private. I know you have trouble with the arguments and that’s because there is no existing valid argument for why you should not choose yourself how much appearance means to you. you. Not others. What is your preference may not be others, and it’s possible (believe it or not) to allow others to be off doing their preference. You don’t have to kill kids or anything in schools before you act, you can already right now choose, but only for you! Mind you! Only for you, and not for another. You may not choose how much another wants that or force others to want to have your marriage, or exit theirs. It can be confusing but it is possible to do this without slaughtering children and deporting workers that don’t have your skincolor. You can do it