Ada

And smart clients/UIs like tesseract realise that the link is to a remote lemmy instance, and then give you the option of viewing it remotely or from your own instances perspective

On the horizon? They crossed that horizon a long time ago. It’s just going to accelerate now

Any place with anonymous/ephermal account and posts as the default is going to attract the worst people in the world…

Reports federate, in a limited way. They federate to the instance the community is hosted on, the instance the reported user is hosted on, the instance the reporting user is hosted on (well technically, it doesn’t federate to the last one, as that is where it started). I don’t believe that a report will federate to a remote instance that doesn’t meet one of those criteria, even if it hosts a moderator for the community, but I’m not certain about this one.

Either way, report resolutions don’t directly federate, so resolving a report doesn’t resolve it on the other instances. It looks like they federate, because post removal from a mod federates, and removing a post auto closes the report. However, a report that was spurious or a troll or whatever that isn’t going to be actioned, has to be manually closed down on each instance it federates to.

I’m panromantic, but attracted to men, however I only date women and gender diverse folk on that end of the gender spectrum. My partner is a woman :)

I’m not the OP, but their question was pretty much describing me.

For me, it’s about intimacy. I value intimacy. Hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, sharing moments, laying on the couch together watching TV etc. Those are things that I don’t do with my friends, and aren’t things that I’m looking for from my friends.

Asexual folk have developed language that talks about the way they navigate similar situations. Sex averse, sex neutral and sex positive. So even though I’m not ace, the terms apply in a similar way to my relationships. Using these terms, I would describe myself as sex neutral. Which is to say that I don’t seek it out, and I don’t miss it. Yet, it’s also a very strong form of intimacy, which I value a great deal, and as an expression of intimacy, it’s very much something I’m happy to share with my partner.

That’s pretty much me. I don’t really have a name for it. I just call myself queer, or sometimes panromantic.

Phones are already too small. I use a fold because it’s the only way I can get a decent sized phone now!

Isn’t that just karaoke?

I mean, the goal was to kill the vibe, and I would argue a poorly done rickroll meets those requirements :p

Eye of the Tiger

If people cannot understand your experience, it’s not because you are trans and they are cis

Well, it’s not just that. As you say, even trans folk can’t understand other trans folks experience. But that still speaks to my point. Acceptance shouldn’t be gatekept behind understanding

I’m trans. Cis people literally can never truly understand my experience or why the things that are important to me are important. Acceptance can’t be contingent on understanding they can never have.

Neopronouns are the same. You can work on your own understanding to reduce your discomfort but your discomfort should be your problem, not something you get to force on to others

Was it dismissing or just not understanding?

Some folk require understanding before they offer acceptance. Those folk will frame it as “just not understanding”. I frame that as lack of acceptance. Acceptance isn’t contingent on understanding. You or I not understanding an aspect of someone elses identity has nothing to do with the validity of their identity.

If you wish to ask someone questions about their pronouns and identity, you’re welcome to do so, but remember they don’t owe you an answer, and whether they offer you an answer or not, and whether you understand their perspective or not, either way, gatekeeping and invalidating their identity is not on.

they are so uncomfortable to use that it just makes me not want to address someone who uses them

That was the other option I offered folk. If someone has stated their pronouns, either use them, or if you can’t bring yourself to use them, don’t engage with the person.

If the person is trolling, report them. But even if they’re trolling, the above statement still stands. Respect their pronouns or don’t engage with them as you report them.

That’s an instance ban. Instance bans automatically issue community bans for local communities the user has been active in.

No one was banned for not rembering drags pronouns or for accidentally getting them wrong.

People were banned for dismissing the validity of neopronouns or for deliberately and repeatedly getting pronouns wrong.

They very much are…

Because stirring up hate against vulnerable minorities, by positioning them as a threat is a well tested and effective technique for the power hungry to gain and retain power. And it’s effective, because it works by pulling people in and making all of the conversation about whether or not it’s right to hate on the group they’re targeting.

I have a couple of married friends. Both trans guys. They tried to adopt, and their options for surrogacy all fell through. So one of them carried their daughter. He didn’t want to do it, but they were out of other options, so he did.

He wasn’t “female whilst pregnant”. He wasn’t a mum, a mum to be, a pregnant woman, or any other term like that. He was a pregnant man, or when needed for clarity, a pregnant transgender man.

I’d ban you too, in a heartbeat, if you brought any of that bullshit in to a trans or queer sub that I moderate.

You having a trans kid doesn’t give you permission to walk all over the voices and experiences of trans people trying to navigate pregnancy