If I specifically don’t want touch screens, what then?

Hold them in contempt. Put them in jail for a few days, then declare a mistrial due to incompetent counsel. For repeat offenders, file a formal complaint to the state bar.

Who said anything about guns, or even violence?

“Jihad” means “struggle.” Mohammed once said the most difficult jihad was the one against ourselves, e.g. the struggle to be better people.

So a jihad for polar bears could mean throwing yourself into activism for the environment.