If you are a white, cisgender, heterosexual, able-bodied, English-speaking man: you are a “Real American”. You are the only type of American whose existence is unobjectionable, whose value is unquestionable, whose achievements are undeniable, and whose failures are irreproachable.
For everyone else, each item subtracted from that list is a comorbidity. Each box left unticked is a target painted on the body.
To Real Americans: I know that we need as many Americans (“real” and otherwise) as possible to stop the rise of fascism in this country. So I understand the inherent unfairness of my saying “this one’s on you”, but… This one’s on you.
Please don’t misunderstand: I’m a black, queer woman, and I will stand with you. But I won’t delude myself by thinking I won’t be the first to fall. I don’t check enough boxes, and no one has ever let me forget it.
We are the ones they will try to get alone. We are the ones they’ll set their sights on. We are the ones he’ll point at when he declares martial law.
We want to fight alongside you, and many of us will, but I need you, Real Americans, to understand that you have more power, and more survivability, than we do. There are a lot of folks who would happily drown, so long as they get to watch us drown first; we are not in a position to combat that ideology, because nothing we say or do is of any value to them.
But you.
You have a voice they might be willing to hear, a face they might be willing to see. To them, you are a Real American, a real person, in a way that we have never been.
So, without any measure of cruelty, without bitterness or any intent to divide, I am asking you to use your privilege. I am asking you to use your whiteness, your masculinity, to defend those of us who do not have it. I’m asking you to place yourself between us and them because, though we are all in danger, they will at least see a person when they look at you; they will hesitate in a way they would not for me.
I am asking you to have difficult, awkward conversations with other Real Americans. I am asking you to be willing to lose friends, even family, in your defense of us. I am asking you to fight for us like you would your own.
I am asking you to do this not only because it is kind and fair and human, but because, contrary to what this administration wants everyone to believe, you do need us, just as we need you. But we are vulnerable in ways that are debilitating, ways that are terrifying, ways that are dangerous, and ways that you are not.
I don’t know who needs (or even wants) to hear this, but I think it needs to be said: You, Real Americans, are the best positioned and the most empowered of us to show this administration, this country, and the world who real Americans are.
Originally Posted By u/nile-istic At 2025-03-18 12:18:14 PM | Source
Yo. That’d be me.
As a cis white male American, I’m eager to find opportunities to do the right thing. I’ve got two little kids to raise, and my family is mostly full of reasonable people, so those opportunities don’t come up often.
I’ve all but alienated my mother-in-law, and I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop on her Trump vote. I risked a lifelong friendship and pushed my best friend long past the point where he was tired of me, just to get him to vote last November. He did vote, but it didn’t matter.
My wife is going to plan out some scripts for calling our politicians, but we’re in a state where that definitely won’t matter, despite our whiteness and my maleness. I’m going to join the PTA soon and make a fuss about them banning books about diversity. It’s hard to fit this stuff in, but we’re trying.
Honestly my wife and I are just a little anti-social, so we don’t have a lot of bridges to burn in spite of our willingness to do so. As our kids get older they’ll drag us further out of our shells and hopefully we’ll have more opportunities.
Until then, we just wait and feel helpless.
Honestly this whole conversation makes me feel so awkward. I’ve always considered myself a libertarian, but like, what libertarian used to mean. I don’t want to have privilege of any kind, because having power or position over other people makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I’m going to keep being a decent person who values things like diversity and equality, not because anyone asked me to, but because those things matter to me. I was going to do that stuff anyway.
But I hope your message reaches someone in between, who needs to hear it.
